Taking a Break to Mourn

My husband Steve died on March 30 of his advanced prostate cancer. It went to his brain and his bone marrow, making further treatment futile. The last few months have been very difficult.

I just cannot imagine life without him. Click here for the obituary I wrote for him on the Bridge Winners web site.

I truly love this work with DNA and genealogy but it takes brain power, of which I have very lttle at the moment. So I am going on hiatus for a while. I hope to be back in a month or two.

Steve and Kitty at her son’s wedding in 2010

79 thoughts on “Taking a Break to Mourn

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  1. I’m so sorry to hear this and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time. Blessings to you and yours.

  2. Dear Cousin Kitty,
    I am so sorry to hear of your husband’s passing. I am sending you so many hugs and prayers.

    My sincerest condolences,
    Kristin Johnson Burge

    • I’m so very sorry! For those of us who’ve been on this journey with our spouses, We want you take as much time as you need to adjust to your new life.

    • Life is fleeting so I hope his life was full and happy. My sincere sympathy to you and your family and thank you for your work.

  3. God Bless you and your family; embrace and enfold you in eternal love and grace; lift you up and strengthen your soul,intellect and joy for life and for the natural wonders and human made marvels, great and small, of our micro and macro cosmos. When the time is right for you to resume your genealogy journey…many will be grateful for your electronic missives,

  4. May God bless you and your family as you mourn the loss of your husband. I don’t know you personally but I want you to know I will say prayers that you all are able to find peace during this difficult time. I have been a long time visitor, to your site, and I have learned so much from you. I am passionate about genealogy and have enjoyed learning about my family history through different avenues. DNA is a link to my family heritage and you have been a big part of my journey, even though you did not know that. I am glad you are taking time off to heal because it is important. Please take care. 🙂

  5. So sorry to hear about Steve. Being a 16 year prostate cancer survivor, I can’t imagine what you are going through. Think only good thoughts about Steve. Be well.

  6. Dear Kitty,
    Like so many others, I am deeply saddened over your loss of your husband Steve. As you take your hiatus from genealogy, please know that you are being lifted up by many prayers. May the Lord give you peace and strength at this time and in the months to come.

  7. My condolences to you on the loss of your husband. May you find much comfort in your many good memories.

  8. So sorry for your loss. Lost my wife to Pancreatc Cancer two years ago. Cancer Sucks! But the good memories live on.

  9. Kitty, I am profoundly sorry for the loss of your love and soulmate, Steve. Please be very kind to yourself during this incredibly difficult period. May his memory be a blessing, as my peeps say. We are thinking of you.

  10. I just want to say I am so sorry for your loss. Having had prostate ca I know some of the agony the disease causes for family and friends. Take heart in the time you had together.

  11. I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband died from cancer five years ago and I still miss him. Stay close to family and friends. I think that helps.

  12. I’m sorry to hear this tragic news. I hope your happy memories can lift some of the sorrow of Steve’s passing, leaving you with peace and gratitude for the time you had together.

  13. Sending love your way, Kitty. Without our local meetings this past year, you have been missed, though your posts are much appreciated. I can only imagine the painful time it has been for you. Thank you for sharing — your energy, your spirit. May time help you heal.

  14. I am so sorry to hear about Steve. You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers during this very difficult time.
    Sending you a Virtual Hug Kitty.

  15. Kitty,

    You need time to begin the healing process or at least cope with the changes.

    Everything else will wait and be here when you’re ready. Please take care of YOU right now.

    Holding you close in my thoughts. May your memories comfort you during this oh-so-difficult time.


    • Thank you Roberta, I am huddled under my comfort quilt this very minute, drinking my morning coffee and crying.

      Such wonderful supportive comments from my readers, thank you all so much!

      I am grateful also that my brother is here to help me through the coming days. The funeral is tomorrow

  16. Kitty, As you mourn your loss, time will be your best friend. Our thoughts are with you and when you choose to return, we will be here to welcome you back!

  17. I wish I had the words to comfort you through this difficult time. You are a strong woman and time will help you as you traverse through the next months and hopefully happy memories will start to crowd out the difficult ones. Looking forward (when the time is right) to possibly finding our actual connection in beautiful Sorlandet and environs.

  18. So very sorry to hear of your loss. Prayers that you find comfort in family, friends, and the memories you share.

  19. I am so sorry for your great loss of your husband Kitty , my adoptive father passed the same way … horrible

  20. Kitty, So sorry to hear of your husband’s death. Two brother’s and I have had surgery for prostate surgery. My wife and I both lost a cousin at a young age from prostate cancer. Asking our God to help you in any way possible at this time.

  21. I am sorry for your loss Kitty. I wish that I could say more but I didn’t know Steve. You will always have your memories with him. Take all the time that you need before coming back to the blog. Take care.

  22. So sorry for your loss. Your husband sounds like a wonderful man who gave a lot to the world and I’m sure he will be missed by many, not just you. I have enjoyed reading your blog over the years but hope that you will take time to heal the way that you need to.

  23. So sorry for your loss Kitty, I have been on your mailing list and reading your website for many years, and appreciate all the hard work you have done which benefitted myself and so many others. Now is the time to grieve and care for yourself. God Bless you and your family x

  24. So very sorry for your loss, Kitty. I hope all the wonderful memories shared will be a source of comfort to you in the days to come. My sincere condolences.

  25. You have my deepest and most profound condolences for your loss. Cancer is cruel, and pancreatic cancer relentless. I lost my mother to cancer, she lost her mother likewise, and my father had cancer as well.

    It’s a testament to your strength and resilience that you’ve been able to think about genealogy at all, let alone write blog posts and update your many readers.

    Tears are good, and appropriate; You’re not busying your feelings. Cherish your memories, and take all the time you need. Take comfort from friends and family. That may help them with their grieving.

  26. Kitty, you are doing things absolutely right. You’ve been preparing for this day for a long time, but it just feels different when it actually happens. I admire the way you phrased your title “Taking a Break to Mourn.”

  27. Sorry for your loss and thank you for all the information you have provided us so we can trace our families.

  28. Dearest Kitty,
    I offer my most sincere condolences to you and your family. Thank you for all you do for us.

  29. Oh Kitty, I can only imagine the grief and pain to lose your husband and best friend. So sorry for your loss. Sometimes the things we have to go through in our lifetime is overwhelming. I will be thinking of you tomorrow on one of the most difficult days.

  30. My deepest sympathy. May tomorrow’s service bring you stories of your life together mixed with tears and maybe a smile.

  31. Wow, that is so devastating, I like others am sorry for your loss and hope you have a great support system closer to home.

  32. Kitty, so sorry for your loss. You’ve given so much to others I hope we can all give back to you at this time.

  33. Kitty, I just stopped by and saw your post. I am so sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself. I pray your heart will be soothed and calmed. Take comfort with your family and friends. God bless you, my friend.

  34. Dear Kitty,
    I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I know too well the sorrow experienced from losing a husband to cancer. It will get better. Be good to yourself. We will be here rooting for you when you return! Prayers for you and your family.
    Sincerely, Sherrie Dukes (a student at Rootstech 2017)

  35. Kitty, my deepest condolences for your loss. Cancer leaves those of us who have lost a loved one to it, feeling such a profound sense of powerlessness. The best victory over it is to keep loving.

  36. Kitty,
    I am so sorry for your loss. Just wanted to send you a virtual hug. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Please take good care of yourself.

  37. Hello Kitty, My heartfelt and deep sympathy on the loss of your love and companion. May time be the balm that soothes you and prayers for peace after this great loss. I have appreciated all your postings and enjoy them so much. Take all the time you need for healing and know that numerous fans of yours are sending prayers and good wishes.

  38. My thoughts and prayers are with you, experienced the same ordeal two years ago, take a lot of me-time, you need it. I have enjoyed your blog and have found your suggestions so helpful. Take care, sit and stare out the window.

  39. Kitty, so sorry to learn of your loss. I hope you will find the love and respect of the genealogy community comforting.

  40. It’s hard
    12 months ago my oldest friend and brother in law died of prostate cancer.
    We started school together age 5 in 1951, we were in cubs, scouts and . . . .

    My wife wants to show him and talk about new things in their family tree and . . . . . .

    My thoughts are with you from the UK – Mike

  41. Kitty I am so sorry for your loss. Be patient with yourself. I think God gives us “brain fog” after great loss to buffer our minds from the sharpness of the grief. It gives us time to process all the mental work of learning a new normal. God bless you.

  42. Kitty,
    I am just reading about your husband. I am so deeply sorry for your loss.

    It is little consolation, but I would tell you that your work has enabled families and lost family members to reconnect or to connect where there was none, filling gaps and empty spaces in peoples’ lives. You have touched others and allowed them to touch each other, a truly remarkable gift. For that, we all all truly grateful.

    You have made a difference in this world.

    I am sure your husband was well aware of the effort and contributions you have made, and know he must have been proud of you. Knowing this hopefully will help you through this difficult time. Sincerely, Brian

  43. I am so sorry to hear about your husband. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I lost 8 family and friends to covid so I know what grief can do. I’ve been away from Genealogy for 6 months and am finding it hard to get started back. My deepest sympathy to you and your family.

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